blowin’ in the wind

I don’t look in the mirror
I don’t like what I see staring back at me
Everything is clearer
I’ll never see what you see
It’s not me
So beautiful and free
I’ll never be what you need
I can’t help it at all
I was born so beautiful
But now I’m ugly

And I rot in my skin
As a piece of me dies everyday
I know I’m nothing
I know there’s nothing I can say
To change
The judgement in their ways
I’ll never be what you need
I can’t help it at all
My love was so beautiful
But now I’m ugly

I’m good enough, but I don’t care
I’m good enough, but I’m not there
I’m good enough, but I don’t care
The sun is out, but I’m not there

He didn’t know much about what he lost, but he knew that he wanted to get it back. “Didn’t want to lose you once again, didn’t mean to cause any pain”. For the very first time since heaven took her away, he looked into himself. He became aware about the weakness of his soul, and desperation took control. “Am I being punished by fate?” He used to blame heaven for taking her away, but he never looked into himself. Well, sometimes that’s even better.

As time went by, he knew he was all alone. He knew she wouldn’t come, he feared what he could become, but still had strength to not succumb. “If I speak my mind, will you hear me? If I reach to you, will you feel me?” He searched and searched for her. He finally stepped out, sent his screams as far as he could, to recognize that it wasn’t enough. He never spent time with faith, he never trusted anyone but himself. But he always avoided hate, drowned in love for her self.

“If you see her, tell me why, why didn’t she say goodbye?” He couldn’t cool down his screams; he still had all those dreams. “Until when will she hide?” He feared that she had lied. “Is this a nightmare, or she really left me?” He still had hopes she would never flee. And through the night he remained silent, consumed by the screams of his mind. As time went by he became violent, in fear that he had been blind. “Doesn’t bother you that I’m not the one?” He wondered where she was hidden, and what wrong he’d done.

He was all alone, he was on his own. He missed her greatly, but he missed himself even more. He has been a doer of none, a lone watcher, and thus he lost what was his. Once again, he knew it would be that way all along. But in her pure gaze he became lost, inside her, and inside himself. He was always lonely, but he had her by his side. He thought that she could never hide. But now she was not there, she was somewhere else, in a place he knew nothing about. She was the hidden face of all his dreams. Of that, they had no doubt. But all that’s left were his screams. He was helpless now, ‘cause he just did all that he pleased.

The lights went down, and the silence crept into his bedroom. As he got used to, she was already there. She was as pure as she could be pure. She kept no secrets. He was joined by this silent love every night. He knew it all along, as if it was written into his soul. He could hear her soundless call, he could feel her presence. But he didn’t know her, as she had no face, no body, no soul. This time, things turned out different. He didn’t know, but she knew from the very beginning. She saw the pure light that he could never see, and she freed her soul like he never would. He missed her, and she missed him, but they knew they were together, although forever apart. For the very first time, heaven seemed insane, because heaven was to blame, for taking her away.

Uma música que eu conheci esse fim de semana, e ficou na minha cabeça…

And on her doorstep
I saw that I was blind
I’d forsaken
what was mine

What had mattered
Mattered little now
We had shattered
apart somehow

Ooh
I can’t help but stay the same
I remain true to my name

Time to get up
And take the long walk home
For the first time
I go alone

Do you remember
when we first met?
Chasing down the alleyways
behind my dad’s

Ooh
I can’t help but stay the same
I remain true to the name
Of lovers past
Good enough to lose
Good enough to choose you, too

Ooh
I can’t help but stay the same
Ooh
I remain true to the name
Of lovers past
Good enough to lose
Good enough to choose you, too

Peace.